No surprises, just the usual
All characters and events depicted are fictitious. Any resemblance to person(s) living or dead isn’t purely coincidental but certainly an attempt at concealment.
At what point exactly does a rant start sounding funny? I don’t know but I hope you let me know after reading this. I tested COVID positive about a week ago and have been quarantined in a room of a 4-star hotel in Gurugram, India.
Let’s talk about India for a second. Sometimes cows are on roads, bikes on footpaths, young Mumbaikars on keto and aunties on cocaine. India stops surprising after a point and I’m yet to reach that point. So when my breakfast was left abandoned like an unwanted child at my doorstep in a lanky, disposable plate, but room service rung the hell out of my doorbell until I had to run out of my shower and open the door and then made me sign a little bill before serving me my dinner in plates and bowls of glass with unnecessary quantity of cutlery, I was surprised. I was surprised that India’s been keeping its research on COVID, not only from the rest of the world, but also us Indian civilians. Bear with me if I’m not updated with the news but never did I ever hear that the COVID virus was a morning person. And yet here I am — being treated like a werewolf with a slight twist — apparently I grow claws, canines (fur I already have in plenty, thanks to Dad’s genes) at a full sun.
So the drapes have been shut ever since. Well, who am I kidding? The real reason is that I live on the first floor with the windows facing the street and its people that could lust at the absolute vision that I am, when wrapped in a towel, which has been my only choice of attire since the past couple of days. Of course my positivity shines through my clothes and hence I have been denied laundry services, but water washes positivity off my skin, my soul and so my towels are replaced without any hesitation, on demand. This, and the fact that I love seeing myself in a towel all day, all night, are the two reasons (in that order) why Bhansali is remaking Saawariya with someone more deserving than Ranbir Kapoor to pull off that iconic towel scene.
Anyway, I can’t wait to test negative and be freed, but until then I’m not solving, just soaking in the paradox I’m living in right now.
