Beginning of the End

All characters and events depicted are fictitious. Any resemblance to person(s) living or dead isn’t purely coincidental but certainly an attempt at concealment.

I want to begin this with a joke but nothing is funnier than my life right now.

Oops, I did it again. Did Britney Spears know back then that this iconic chartbuster and her powerful red latex bodysuit would deem making mistakes fashionable? I have absolutely no remorse or regret in adding humor to hurt and talking in circles, concentric circles that are infinitely more fun than their center itself. Other than when I’m alone with my thoughts at 3 am, I ‘fashionably’ wear satire as my shield. My therapist had called this just a phase but guess who’s laughing now? I’m not, I hope you are. Humor isn’t fast fashion, Dr. Ghosh, it’s my style.

And I had almost forgotten what I was planning to write about but hey, Instagram never disappoints. A notification popped up, a surprise I absolutely do not wait for everyday these days if I am being absolutely honest. “Tanay18 sent a reel”. Long story short, a year back, I fell in love… before I continue further, I must admit that I cringed writing this. Anyway, the ‘I-really-love-spending-time-with-this-person-and-the-sex-is-good-too-and-I-just-don’t-want-this-to-end-ever’ thing happened to me but it seems like it didn’t hit him as hard as it hit me. We gave up because he didn’t see this working with 850 miles between us.

Yes, we gave up. We gave up. It’s not all on him, we gave up. “Repeat a lie often enough and it becomes the truth,” is a law of propaganda often attributed to the Nazi Joseph Goebbels. And my mom says that good advice can come from anywhere so here we are. I’m beginning to give up too. I’m almost too scared to say this out loud because I don’t know how much of it is a lie stemmed from anger and resentment and how much of it is from a genuine loss of love. But I’m happy calling this the beginning of the end. It’s vague and I love that. Is this the end of an era? Does my broken heart see this as the end of the world? Is this just the nearing end of this piece? Yeah, that’s what this is.